Were It Not For Grace

Before starting to plan for our wedding, Jotham and I sat down to talk about what our main goal was. It seems like a silly question to ask, and the obvious answer was of course, "to get married."

I guess what we wanted to agree on --  was how we wanted things to play out. What did we want our guests to see, feel, and experience, in this once-in-a-lifetime event where we could gather them all together?

 "Begin with the end in mind," as we had so often taught our students.

Soon we decided that the overall goal for the wedding ceremony and reception was: a) to show God's gracious hand in our love story, and b) to honor our parents.

With this in mind, we were able to let go of a lot of things, that ultimately did not matter. Frivolous things on my part, I must admit. Whenever I stressed too much on things like the caterer, the table setting, or decor details, Jotham would remind me, "Would these contribute to achieving our goal?"

So candy buffets, vintage luggage decors, burlap table runners -- let go.

Instead we focused on: our vows, the program, our gift to our parents, the music, and our special song number! Haha.

We asked Wang videography for our full wedding video to focus on our vows.

We also wrote a message to our parents respectively, which was an emotional, sipon-filled moment on my part. 

For our parents' gift, we created a photo collage and attached it onto a wood canvas, using Mod Podge. Judging from this photo, I think they liked it. Hehe.

We had our beloved student David Park, sing Moon River, for our first dance.

We also performed a song. Eep! I was against this idea from the beginning. As anyone would tell you, I cannot carry a tune to save my life. 

But Jotham insisted, and we practiced with our church choir to perform the song "Beautiful Savior" by Casting Crowns. Before we sang, Jotham told the guests jokingly that if they wanted to leave -- that moment would be a good time. 

To cap off the song, and the entire reception program, we arranged for fireworks to be set off just as we ended our "performance." 

It was very humbling, when people took the time to come up to us and tell us that our wedding was "beautiful," "inspiring," "moving." 

One of my friends even sent me a message on Facebook: 

"So here, let me thank you for showing us that the kind of love you share with Jotham still exists Muntik na ako madisillusion na [about] love. (Yun kasi nasa TV at kwento ng mga kaibigan ko!) kaya nga pagnacoconfuse ako, iniisip ko kayo! Hahhahahaha! God is the center of your relationship.hindi puro words lang. We feel it. So thank you!!!! You and jotham are blessings to us. Enjoy your married life! God bless!"

It is such a blessing to hear that friends and family were able to see God in our wedding. We really felt blessed that the wedding was used as a vessel to sho how beautiful His love and grace is, towards two broken, sinful, selfish people like Jotham and I. 

I'm choked for words, every time I am reminded of how God picked me up from the gutters of a messed-up, sinful, and shameful life, and revealed to me that He had done the unthinkable --  giving up His life so I could be lifted from all that muck. 

He transported me from the chokehold of sin and death into a whole, brand new life, in the wide open spaces of His grace. 

The wedding, the man I married, this new baby in my tummy. I deserve none of this. 

There is this song, we sing at Church which moves me to tears every time we sing it. Allow me to share the lyrics with you: 

"Were It Not For Grace" 

Time measured out my days, life carried me along

In my soul I yearned to follow God but knew I'd never be so strong
I looked hard at this world to learn how Heaven could be gained
Just to end where I began, where human effort is all in vain

Were it not for grace, I can tell you where I'd be
Wandering down some pointless road to nowhere
With my salvation up to me, I know how that would go
The battles I would face, forever running but losing the race
Were it not for grace

So here is all my praise, expressed with all my heart
Offered to the Friend who took my place and ran a course I could not start
And when He saw in full just how much His love would cost
He still went the final mile between me and Heaven so I would not be lost

Were it not for grace, I can tell you where I'd be 
Wandering down some pointless road to nowhere
With my salvation up to me and I know how that would go
The battles I would face forever running but losing the race
Were it not for grace

Forever running but losing this race
Were it not for grace

And that is it, in a nutshell. "For by the blood of Christ we are set free, that is our sins our forgiven. How great is the grace of God." -- Ephesians 1:7