My Girl Jenny

I have loved Jenny Packham since Kate Middleton wore this dress. 

Her wedding creations are quite lovely, too. I think I may have found THE dress among her designs. 

By The Numbers

To be honest, if I could just have my immediate family and a few well-chosen friends to my wedding, I would be the happiest bride in the world. In my head, it will be a lovely, tasteful, very elegant, sit-down dinner with the people closest to my heart. But that's me being selfish.

As Jotham and I have agreed, this wedding ceremony won't be for ourselves, but for the Lord and for our parents. That being said, we will consider all those who we want to minister to with our little wedding ceremony. Plus, we'll take into account the suggestions of our parents of  who to invite.

We'll just allocate the budget to accommodate additional guests, and scrimp on the other details that we can do ourselves.

In this regard, I feel the Lord's blessings and provision so immensely.

To date, a friend has already agreed to do my make-up for free! Plus, we're holding the wedding at a friend's garden venue in Tagaytay. Food is being catered by another church friend. The program will be run by teacher friends from Reedley who are experts at events management, with all the proms, reading of honors, graduation, and parties we've held.

And just tonight, my friend Clarise who does such lovely watercolor paintings has agreed to do our table numbers. She sent over these lovely pegs from Pinterest, and I am so happy at the idea that my wedding will have something like these.

Our small, intimate, vintage-y wedding is slowly, but surely falling into place. Thank you God. 

Another Reason Why

We visited our wedding venue in Tagaytay. Between the two of us, we barely had 4 hours of sleep because of some last minute internet research we had done the night before.

The rest of the day was filled with one meeting after another, before we were able to drive back to his home. We had a quick dinner and then  we were just dead to the world for two hours -- him on the couch, and me on the bed in the TV room, while Ate Baby watched Maalaala Mo Kaya. 

During the day, as is often the case when I am hungry or I lack sleep, I sort of turn on Jotham and become unreasonably upset with him. 

But, as is always the case -- he is ever so patient, and gracious, and kind. It makes me so ashamed that I am capable of such pettiness. Especially since we had quite a productive day. We now have our venue, and got ourselves a potentially sweet deal on the bridal suite. 

When I'm upset, Jotham just holds my hand and asks for a kiss on the cheek. I oblige him, sometimes grudgingly. But he is always so loving. Sometimes I want to cry, because --apart from God, and probably my parents -- I've never been loved so well. 

With The End In Mind

Today, he asked me to keep a journal of the days that are leading up to the wedding. He wants to be able to share these thoughts with each other after the big day.

I woke up this morning and had a mini panic attack when I checked my phone and saw that he did not text me whether he arrived home safe from bible study last night. Things like this worry me, especially after horrid news of car accidents or highway robberies appear on TV.

Anyway, I realized that after March next year, I would know exactly when he would be home, because I would physically be living with him. This then led to the startling notion that I was going to leave my childhood home for good.

And this made me a little sad, because I would miss my parents very, very much. It made me sad that they might find this sad too.

These moments when I feel an emotion quite strongly -- whether it's feeling giddy at the idea of getting married, or the bittersweet heartbreak at the notion of leaving home -- they come at small, unexpected times. Then the rest of the day I am pre-occupied with worrying about our wedding budget, or painstakingly recording every single thing that we need to accomplish.

I am especially fretful that so many things are soooo expensive. Close to 100,000 pesos for a dress that  I will wear for only a day? 20,000 pesos or more for makeup? Then there's the ballooning guest list, the many DIY projects to cut down our expenses, the many appointments to make, people to see.

But Jotham always reminds me to go back to what this wedding should be about. When we talked after our engagement, we both agreed that the purpose of this wedding is to glorify God, and to honor our parents.

When I think about that, I can be at peace. Ours is going to be a small, simple, wedding, with much of the preparations, decors, and coordination done by us, and several gracious friends. Things may go wrong, or the wedding might not be as nice as those featured in magazines or websites.

But the important thing is this: this is for parents, who have been with us in our journey, and this is for Jesus, who brought us together in the first place. 

Flowers

"I'm an introvert... I love being by myself, love being outdoors, love taking a long walk with my dogs and looking at the trees, flowers, the sky." --Audrey Hepburn 

I Like You

I Like You by Sandol Stoddard Warburg 

I like you and I know why
I like you because you are a good person to like
I like you because when I tell you something special, you know it’s special
And you remember it a long, long time
You say, Remember when you told me something special
And both of us remember

When I think something is important you think it’s important too
We have good ideas
When I say something funny, you laugh
I think I’m funny and you think I’m funny too

Hah-hah!
I like you because you know where I’m ticklish
And you don’t tickle me there except just a little tiny bit sometimes
But if you do, then I know where to tickle you too

You know how to be silly – that’s why I like you
If I am getting ready to pop a paper bag,
then you are getting ready to jump

HOORAY

I like you because when I am feeling sad
You don’t always cheer me up right away
Sometimes it is better to be sad
You can’t stand the others being so googly and gaggly every single minute
You want to think about things
It takes time
I like you because if I am mad at you
Then you are mad at me too
It’s awful when the other person isn’t
They are so nice and oooh you could just about punch them on the nose

"I can’t remember when I didn’t like you
It must have been lonesome then
Even if it was the 999th of July
Even if it was August
Even if it was way down at the bottom of November
I would go on choosing you
And you would go on choosing me
Over and over again
And that’s how it would happen every time

10.19.13

This is finally true for me. 

Let's.

Your Love Is Teaching Me How To Kneel

Lord, liar or lunatic

I don't think it would be an exaggeration to say that I came to first hear about the Gospel from Bono. My best friend Mia gave me a book on Bono and there is this one chapter where he discusses his faith. There, he illustrated for me what the Good News of the Gospel is all about. The quote from above was especially compelling for me.  I've since learned that he is echoing the argument of the great Christian author, C.S. Lewis. In his book, Mere Christianity, Lewis says: 

"A man who was merely a man and said the sort of things Jesus said would not be a great moral teacher. He would either be a lunatic--on the level with a man who says he is a poached egg--or he would be the devil of hell. 

You must take your choice. 

Either this was, and is, the Son of God, or else a madman or something worse. You can shut him up for a fool or you can fall at his feet and call him Lord and God. But let us not come with any patronizing nonsense about his being a great human teacher. He has not left that open to us."