Along with the excitement and dreaminess of the prospect of getting married, there is a lot of fear isn't there? I never, never, never factored fear into the equation. I always thought that the moment the man of my dreams proposes to me, everything will just sort of magically lead up to the big day.
But I've found myself battling little bouts of fear. There are so many scenarios running through my head and I don't think I've ever felt more inadequate in my entire life.
When I was in college, I was dead set on being a career woman. In a writing class, one of my classmates -- her name was Maggie -- revealed to the teacher that she wanted to be a housewife, and I marveled at her bravery. No one I knew had "housewife" as a life goal. It was just unheard of then.
I myself, wanted to be a hard-hitting journalist or world-class travel writer.
Now, ten years later, I marvel at the fact that Maggie had come to that realization so early in life. And I have only owned up to it recently. I want to be a wife, and a mom. I want to cook for my husband, and homeschool my kids.
I just don't know if I'll be any good at it. And that scares me more than anything.
In these moments I have no other recourse but to turn to Him. I try to remember my favorite verses in the bible. And pray that He may make these true for me.
"There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear." 1 John 4:18
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